The blog you will read below is something I wrote 7 1/2 years ago in September of 2009. I recently came across it and thought I’d share it with you. I did not change any of the original wording, although I confess, I was incredibly tempted to do so. I really wanted to make some phrasing adjustments, remove a few things, and add a bit more details here and there. Yet, I wanted to keep it as I first wrote it, so it remains the same.

I do hope and pray it will be eye-opening as well as encouraging to someone, somewhere, at this point in time and season.

To God be the Glory!!

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

September 11, 2009

Recently, I was reading through 2 Corinthians. No particular reason why that book of the Bible. Although, I had just finished 1 Corinthians, so it seemed natural to continue and read through 2 Corinthians. As I began reading it, a few verses in that very first chapter JUMPED off of the page. I couldn’t help but reread them OVER and OVER again. These are the verses that I read.

2 Corinthians 1:8-11

“8For we do not want you to be unaware, brethren, of our affliction which came to us in Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life; 9indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead; 10who delivered us from so great a peril of death, and will deliver us, He on whom we have set our hope. And He will yet deliver us, 11you also joining in helping us through your prayers, so that thanks may be given by many persons on our behalf for the favor bestowed on us through the prayers of many.”

A little background info about me …

I grew up in a Christian home. To be honest, I cannot remember a time when I didn’t know and walk with the Lord. For that, I am truly, incredibly, forever grateful!! I grew up generally knowing the “right” things to say and do. I even learned all of those churchy things to say. As some often call it, I knew the “Christianese” language. You probably know what I’m talking about. Words like Sanctification, Blessing, Redeemed, Communion and Holiness were part of normal conversation. Well, with knowing all of that, there are many words or phrases that I say/said because they’re just what I’ve always heard someone else say. Not knowing if they’re right or wrong, I just say them, because  … because that’s what’s done.

Have you ever wondered where certain phrases come from?

“You’re a chip off the old block.”

“Let’s get the show on the road.”

“In a nutshell.”

“A basket case.”

These are just some miscellaneous clichés people say, and often there is a history and meaning behind them. We don’t usually think about them in-depth, but we say them. Well, the same goes for church phrases. We say them, but don’t always think in-depth about their meaning or WHY we say them. Sadly, it is often that we don’t check to make sure they are matched up with what Scripture teaches.

Since I grew up in the church, it was easy for me to say all of these random churchy phrases. I still say a lot of them. But, I’m finding more and more that I want to make sure that what I say, truly matches up with what God’s Word says. Recently, I have been mulling over a phrase that I have heard and even said many times myself. That phrase is the title of this post, “God won’t give me more than I can handle.” Have you heard anyone say that before?!  Or, have you said it yourself? I know I have. Many times. I’ve said variations of it, too …

“God won’t give me more than I can handle.”

“God won’t allow me to experience more than I can endure.”

“I know I can make it through because God won’t give more than I can deal with right now.”

Well, as I’ve been mulling over different phrases and especially churchy phrases, I keep coming back to this one for some reason. I’ve had to ask myself, do I believe it? Is it true? Ultimately, is this what God’s Word says and teaches? Does God keep me from experiencing anything that is too much to endure? Does He make sure not to give me more than what I can cope with? More than I can bear?

I know there’s a passage that many people have used to support this phrase, “God will not give me more than I can handle.” That passage is found in 1 Corinthians 10:13.

Backing up a bit in the chapter, the beginning of 1 Corinthians 10 talks about the Israelites and their history. How they are examples to us … actually more of a warning to us of what NOT to do. Do not be idolaters, as some of them were. Do not be sexually immoral, as some of them were. Do not set your heart on evil things, as some of them did. Be aware of these things, so that you do not fall. That you, who think you are standing firm, do not fall to these common temptations. You are a common man, too.

It states in verses 10-13 (italics mine):

“These things happened to them [Israelites] as examples and were written down as warnings for us, on whom the fulfillment of the ages has come. 12So, if you think you are standing firm, be careful that you don’t fall! 13No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear. But when you are tempted, He will also provide a way out so that you can stand up under it.”

The chapter continues on with an appeal to flee idolatry and some other stuff, too.

Verse 13, “No temptation has seized you except what is common to man. And God is faithful; He will not let you be tempted beyond what you can bear.”  (Italics mine.)

When I first read this passage, it was easy to conclude that I wouldn’t be pushed beyond what I can endure or bear. It made sense, especially in light of the phrase I have always heard and said myself (the title of the post). However, upon reading it more and more, it seemed as though I was forgetting the context of the chapter: sin and temptation. I began asking, “Is this talking about life in general, or just about temptations?” Isn’t it talking about how we can learn from Israel’s history so we do not fall to the same temptations as they once did. I’m just not quite certain that it’s talking about ALL of life … hmmmm.

Don’t get me wrong, I know that God is faithful. When I am tempted to do anything that goes against HIS Word, I have the promise that HE will provide a way out. I can stand up under it and not be overcome. I do not have to succumb to those temptations just as the passage says.

I completely agree that God helps me in my weakness and provides a way out of my temptations. I completely agree. But, does that mean that I won’t ever be pushed beyond what I can handle … in general?

I know there are circumstances out there that are HARD. VERY hard. For instance, moving out of state away from every person that I know and love! That’s hard. I know from recent experience. It can be (and often is) a lonely road.

Raising 4 children born in a 4.5 year span and having a miscarriage in the midst of those years, that’s hard! Not much “me time” left at the end of the day. Only more loads of laundry and piles of dishes to be done.  🙂

Homeschooling … whew. That is no easy task. It is hard work!! It adds a whole new dimension to life to be Mommy AND Teacher. These have been and still ARE hard circumstances for me.

I, personally, have not dealt with some of the bigger life altering circumstances (divorce, a close death, physical persecution, major medical illnesses, etc.), but others have. Those are HARD situations. Although they are hard, they are not what I would call, “temptations” issues. They are circumstances that are more than difficult, but I’m not sure they are “temptations.” I may be tempted in different ways on how-to-handle those situations, but the event, in-and-of-itself, is not a temptation. As God Word promises, the temptations I deal with will not go beyond what I can bear. However, that doesn’t mean our circumstances won’t go beyond … does it?

“God won’t give me more than I can handle.” I know I have used this phrase in times of trial. And, I too, used 1 Corinthians 10:13 to help me feel all warm and cozy knowing that I wouldn’t be pushed beyond my limits. But, I honestly have a hard time doing that now. It just seems that I’m adding to the Scripture by making it an all-inclusive to life, instead of keeping it with the context of temptations.

In the midst of struggling to understand this concept more, I eventually stumbled upon the passage I mentioned at the beginning of the post.

2 Corinthians 1:8-11

“8For we do not want you to be unaware, brethren, of our affliction which came to us in Asia, that we were burdened excessively, beyond our strength, so that we despaired even of life; 9indeed, we had the sentence of death within ourselves so that we would not trust in ourselves, but in God who raises the dead; 10who delivered us from so great a peril of death, and will deliver us, He on whom we have set our hope. And He will yet deliver us, 11you also joining in helping us through your prayers, so that thanks may be given by many persons on our behalf for the favor bestowed on us through the prayers of many.”

Rereading that first verse … apostle Paul and Timothy (and others?) were burdened excessively, beyond their strength, so that they despaired even of life. Wow.

New International Version (NIV) states it this way, “We were under great pressure, far beyond our ability to endure, so that we despaired even of life.” That’s intense. They were at a place that was BEYOND their ability to endure? Beyond what they could “bear?” They had the “sentence of death” within them? Suicidal thoughts? Ready to die? Knowing they would die? Death staring them in the face? It’s not just that they could bear no more … they were passed that point. It was too much. It was “beyond [their] ability to endure.”

What was their reaction to such peril thoughts/emotions/experiences? Verse 9 says, they “had the sentence of death within [them] SO THAT they would not trust in [themselves], but in God who raises the dead; who delivered [them] from so great a peril of death, and will deliver [them], He on whom [they] have set [their] hope.”

Isn’t that beautiful?! Not “beautiful” that they were on the brink of death and were despaired even of life and beyond their ability to endure … but that they did not trust in themselves, but in GOD! They put their trust in HIM. They set their hope in HIM. Their faith rested in HIM.

They were truly beyond their ability to cope, their ability to endure, their ability to survive … in-and-of-themselves they could not do it. In their own strength, they could not do it. With each other, they could not do it. The ONLY way they could “endure” or “bear” what was happening, was through their trust, faith and hope in God. It wasn’t that God didn’t allow things to happen beyond their strength to endure, because He did allow it … but as they trusted our God who raises the dead, they were saved. They were delivered!

Verse 10 and a little of verse 11 in the NIV, “HE has delivered us from such a deadly peril, and He will deliver us. On Him we have set our hope that He will continue to deliver us, as you help us by your prayers …”

Our hope is in HIM. We can withstand “beyond what we can bear,” because of HIM.

(Side note to Verse 11: Not only is it our hope in Him that delivers us … but also others praying for us. Prayer is so powerful.)

It’s more understandable (not excusable) now why people are at the “end of their rope” (another cliche’-ick phrase). It’s more understandable why people turn to drugs and alcohol to cope day-to-day. It’s more understandable why people resort to beating their loved ones (or strangers) or why people ultimately take their own life. They are beyond what they can bear. In their minds, there is no “solution” to the problem. No hope. In their thinking, there is no answer. No way to be saved or rescued. There is no way out. What a sad and dark and lonely place.

Without a hope, without a faith, without a trust in the Almighty Sovereign God, there is hopelessness. No hope to be delivered. No hope to endure. No hope at all. Trusting in my own strength will not deliver me. I MUST trust in HIM.

I have the promise that I will not be TEMPTED beyond what I can bear … yahoooooo!! I love that promise.

And, I have the hope that when life circumstances ARE “beyond what I can bear” … I can rest in the hope I have in HIM, my Savior. I can trust HIM, not myself, to save and rescue me.  I love that.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~

Even after 7 1/2 years since first writing this piece, I still find myself coming to the same conclusion: I need Jesus, especially in my desperation. HE is my one and only salvation in all of the good, the bad, and the ugly. HE is my way out of temptation. HE is my complete strength in my utter weakness. HE is.

As I reread all of this, I am clearly reminded how much I desire to always seek and know Truth. I don’t want to hear clichés or sayings and take them as the Gospel Truth. I want to constantly examine all things and line them up with His Word. I want all I believe, all I say, and all I have put my hope in to line up with Truth. HE (and His Word) is unchanging … I am the one that is to change and be moldable. Soft and pliable. Lord, mold me and shape me according to your immutable Word.

To God be the Glory!

This past weekend, I went with a friend of mine to a new hairdresser in town. I’m not even sure how the subject came up months ago, but we talked about getting new hair styles together. It took some time, as we moms typically set aside our needs, but we finally made our back-to-back appointments.

She had her first professional coloring (highlighting) done along with a great new haircut, while I had a simple cut and style. It had been almost 2 years since my last visit to a salon. I was long overdue. The dry, straw like ends on my hair were a struggle to deal with on a daily basis. No amount of conditioner could tame the 2-inch long split-ends. More often than not, I’d put my hair up in a ponytail or messy bun just to keep it out of my way. I do have curly hair, but even when it was straightened or freshly washed, I had a difficult time running my fingers through it. The ends were beyond repair.

It was time.

When we were done, both of us had healthy hair and wonderful hairstyles. We didn’t do anything fancy, we just did some basic maintenance and ended up with some fresh new looks.

It felt good.

As we drove home, one of the things we commented on was the fact that we kept wanting to touch our hair. So soft. So smooth. We had neglected the care of our hair for so long, we forgot how good it feels to cut off the excess and be able to enjoy what is good and healthy.

Using this experience, I can see how it can correlate to many areas of my life.

It is very easy for me to have so much going in my life, that I get fried. Parts of me are damaged, worn out, and difficult to control. So, I simply ignore it, put it up and away, so I don’t have to deal with it. It’s easier to pretend all is well. I’ll take care of everyone else, and neglect taking care of myself … literally, for years.

This has been slowly changing over the past 10 months or so. I’ve cut my commitment level to so many things that sucked my energy dry. Now, I do realize that it is perfectly OK to push ourselves and do hard things; but what I later learned, I was neglecting what was already healthy and good in my life (like my husband, my kids, my dear friends) and focusing on the outer parts/ends of my life. Not that everything was “damaged” or “bad,” but it simply took all of my energy to control or work with it.

Eventually, split ends happen. And, if not taken care of quickly, it can keep moving up and damaging what is healthy.

Time to be intentional. Make that appointment.

So, 10 or so months ago, I started to be intentional. I cut out areas in my life that spread me too thin. They weren’t “bad” things, per say, just … excess. I wasn’t the wife I wanted to be, the mom I wanted to be, the teacher I wanted to be, the friend I wanted to be, or the Christian I wanted to be. I kept myself so busy managing and controlling the chaos in so many places, that I neglected to take care of and focus on what mattered most.

Just as when my junky hair was cut off and I started running my fingers through my hair more, when I cut out the excess, I started paying attention to and caring for the healthy areas in my life. Now, that doesn’t mean it doesn’t get dirty or messy on a regular basis, but it is healthier overall. There is more connection and interaction, instead of setting aside and ignoring.

I can’t do it all. None of us can do it all. Sometimes, we simply need to cut off what is distracting us from focusing on the good, strong and healthy. Let it go. It may be painful at times, but it can also be quite freeing.

To God be the Glory!

Mornings, Mondays and Firsts.

What do these three things have in common?

They are all at the beginning.

Mornings … the beginning of the day.
Mondays … the beginning of the school/work week.
Firsts … the beginning of the month or the year.

For whatever reason, any new idea, plan or change I am wanting to implement into my life and/or family … I will always start at the very beginning. According to Julie Andrews, it’s a very good place to start, ya know.

If it’s the middle of the day and I decide I want to try eating healthier, I’ll wait until the next morning (or week, or month, or year) to begin.

If it’s Wednesday and I think of a new daily schedule or routine I want to incorporate into our schooling, I will wait until the following Monday (beginning of the week) to try it.

If I want to attempt a life-shifting decision, like going without FaceBook (social media free) for a long time, I’ll wait until the turn of the new year, on the first, to begin.

Catch that theme? I will wait …

I’m not fully sure why, but I do know this is an action (waiting …) I tend to do.  Hmmmm … that’s probably more of an inaction, than an actual action. Either way, it’s a pattern of mine.

There’s just something about being at the beginning that helps me feel better or more prepared. Perhaps I wait … because it’s a fresh start as I’m not jumping into the middle of it; or because I like projects to be orderly with a beginning, middle and end; or maybe because I fear messing it up before I fully understand or comprehend it. Yes, I like waiting.

Knowing this, knowing I tend to put things off instead of jumping right in, I’m going to try something new for a bit. I’m going to do the exact opposite.

Instead of being afraid, waiting, fearing failure, trying to understand it all, or not wanting to fumble my way through it, I am making a deliberate choice to just begin. No matter when or where, I’ll just start. No more waiting.

This may be reckless, I don’t know, but I’m going to give it a go. I may fall flat on my face a few times, but I’m at least going to fall trying. I don’t want to be paralyzed any more.

One of my goals, as of late, is to try to blog every single day of the week (but still not on weekends). Make it habit and just practice the skill of writing. I’m not sure if I’ll be able to accomplish this every week … but I have resolved myself to be OK with falling short along the way. For instance, I missed posting something yesterday, but that’s OK! I didn’t stress about it, at all. I’m going to live, you’re going to live, and life will continue to move forward.

I simply know I won’t hit any target at all if I don’t even have one to aim at in the first place. But, if I aim and just keep shooting, something is bound to stick. So, I’m going to go for it. If I have the urge to wait and wait for when it’s “best” to begin, I’m going to move to action, instead. Not just do the talking, but start taking action. Again, I will likely mess up quite a bit along the way, but I’m learning to be OK with that.

I just know, if I wait for the “perfect” time or the “perfect” beginning to start everything I want to do or dream of doing, I may end up doing … absolutely nothing.

Nope. That is not what I want. It’s time to get a moving.

Carpe Diem.

Seize the day.

To God be the Glory!