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Our foster care journey – part 6

(Below is Part 6 of our foster care journey. You can catch up on the journey by using these links to read Part 1, Part 2, Part 3, Part 4 and Part 5.)

Confirm and confirm again, Lord!!!

Just as our Pastor prayed (in an email response to my May 19th email), I also prayed for the Lord to “confirm and confirm again” exactly what we were to do … and for us to “not to be anxious about anything” in the process.

Praise the Lord … HE answers and confirms!

Confirmation #1

May 22, 2011

During church, a gal shared about gathering in the flock. How we are to be bold and courageous and welcome in those who may be lost, wandering, or need help. I immediately thought about the “lost” children of the world. Those with no homes. Those without a healthy Mom or Dad. Those without a loving home. Those without a safe place to reside. Those who ultimately are without Christ.

My heart broke.

I cried out to the Lord that morning and said, “Lord, I’m not ready to care for other children!!” His (not audible, but very real) response, “No, you’re not ready, but you WILL be.” I cannot describe the peace that came upon me in that very moment. It was as if He had given me permission not to have it all together. What a relief. I could be where I was in that exact moment … but also know that in time, I had the hope I would indeed be ready. We would be ready.

Confirmation #2

May 23, 2011

It was a Monday. We had just been encouraged by the Lord the previous day during church (confirmation #1), so we began looking at this possible, yet unknown journey. We were trusting the Lord in His saying we would indeed be ready!

Being the studious person that I am (haha!), I went searching online for information. I wanted to find a local fostering/adoption company. It didn’t take long before I found a great resource. I called them and they directed me to a particular local gentleman. So, I called him and left a message.

That same day, I called a friend from church who had also looked into fostering/adopting previously and she gave me the name of a local gentleman. Turns out, it was the same gentleman the other company had directed me to call. I felt this was indeed confirmation. We were being led to the same person/place through 2 different avenues. 🙂

Confirmation #3

A random message came through Facebook from a friend we hadn’t seen for 9 or 10 years, encouraging us in our parenting. It came out of nowhere, but it was impeccable timing. God is good. When I began to doubt our ability to care for children from hard places, the Lord brought someone to encourage us in that exact area we needed encouragement. What amazing confirmation!

Confirmation #4

An unexpected $100 check came from someone to encourage us on our journey to becoming a foster family.  ?

Praise the Lord, He was answering our prayers!

The Lord was confirming and confirming again … emotionally, spiritually, practically and financially … we could indeed walk this fostering journey. He was preparing the way.

Fears, anxiety and worry were very quickly fading away while excitement was gaining momentum as we were about to take our first real steps.

(Stay Tuned for Part 7…)

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Our foster care journey – part 5

(Below is Part 5 of our foster care journey. Here are the links for Part 1, Part 2, Part 3 and Part 4 … in the event you missed any of them.)

May 2011

My preoccupation with being pregnant increased even more during the month of May.

I found out a college friend of mine became pregnant after 7 years of not having any babies! This renewed my hope that it really COULD happen! Though they did not have a vasectomy like we did, I was hopeful that we could be pregnant again, too.

My obsession only burned hotter and brighter.

I didn’t realize it at the time, but I later noticed May 2011 marked the 5 year anniversary from when Papa had his vasectomy. Five years. Though I knew we had worked through our regret for having the vasectomy, I still couldn’t shake the greatness of this loss.

I felt like I should DO something.

May 19, 2011

As my desire to be pregnant continued to consume every part of me, I realized I wanted to do something. I don’t like waiting. But, we had learned from our past experiences and were ready to wait and hear the LORD’s direction for us. We didn’t want to do just anything, we wanted to do what the Lord was leading us to do.

I remember my Uncle describing years and years ago that “true repentance” is “being willing to do whatever it takes to make it right again.” Wow. Whatever it takes.

As we saw them, our options included:

#1-vasectomy reversal.

#2-adoption.

#3-foster care.

Were will truly willing to do “whatever it takes?”

May 19, 2011 marks the day I sent out an email to close friends, family and also to our pastors to seek prayer and wisdom regarding the “next step.”

Below are a few excerpts from that email:

Today, I find myself always thinking about this loss. Not that we have physically lost children since that decision [to get a vasectomy], but we’ve lost the possibility of more wonderful children in our family. I think about it daily. <tears are streaming down my face>

BUT. BUT … I know that we serve a God who can do the impossible. He has parted waters of the sea, calmed storms, healed the blind, raised the dead, made the lame walk, defeated giants, protected from lions, multiplied food, sent fire from heaven, caused time to stand still … made it possible for Mary, Sarah and Elizabeth to be pregnant … I know HE is able!! I mean not this to sound cliche’ … but mean it with my whole heart and agree with His Word when it says … With God, ALL things are possible!!!

With this hope, I am hopeful. I am hopeful that something will happen and that our family will grow again. Somehow, someway, our family will grow.

We have prayed for God to do the impossible and to make it so we are able to have more children. We have opened our minds and hearts up to the possibility of adopting or fostering. We are open.  Both Papa and I feel like our family is “not done” yet. What that looks like, I do not know. Even in saying, “our family isn’t done yet”, I am not sure why or how I can explain that feeling. I recently asked Papa WHY we feel we’re not done yet. Is it because the Lord is preparing us to have more children? Is it because He wants us to prepare our home and family for a future adoption/foster child? I am reminded of this clip from “Facing the Giants” in “preparing” to receive. Or, perhaps we feel this way because we want the Lord to bring “life” where there was “death”? Redemption? Healing? I don’t know that I know the answer to this question. Why. Why do we feel we are not done?

In response to our email, a friend of mine asked about the possibility of a reversal. I let her know what it would take to have it done (financially, physically, time, etc.). I also mentioned that “I’m scared to death to foster or adopt … but am open to it.”

She then asks me, “Why are you scared to foster or adopt?”

My response,

Scared to adopt/foster?  Lots of reasons … scared what “issues” will come with them:

  • scared how they’ll mesh with the family
  • scared how our extended family will welcome them into our family
  • scared what issues they’d teach our kids (lots and lots of anger and abuse issues in every realm here)
  • scared it’ll just be too much and I can’t handle it
  • scared we won’t love them as much as our biological
    scared our other kids will feel neglected
  • scared … for more reasons … but those are a good start.

Lots to think about. Not sure I can handle it … or that I want to handle it.

She simply replies, “I want to pray for you about your fears concerning adoption, I REALLY think it is such a wonderful thing … but I totally get the concerns but I want you to experience more freedom and less fear about it.”

More freedom. Less fear.

Those words jumped off of my laptop screen as I read them. More freedom, less fear. I quickly realized I had allowed myself to be in bondage over the idea of fostering or adopting. Most certainly, I had fed my fears concerning it.

Was I truly prepared to do “whatever it takes,” no matter where it leads or what it looks like?

Was I genuinely willing to open my heart and our home in a capacity that was far greater than I had ever thought or imagined?

Was this how God would eventually grow our family?

In recognizing the multitude of my fears for what they were (hindrances), my heart began to soften and change. A shift was taking place. Fostering and/or adopting children didn’t seem too far fetched as we looked down this unexpected turn in the road.

(Stay tuned for Part 6 …)

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Fun Fact Friday – February 10, 2017

Taking a quick break from telling our foster care journey (which will continue next Monday), here’s a little list of some Fun Facts about myself …

  1. I am a sucker for containers and organizers. I love them. I use them. I figure out ways to accumulate them.
  2. In general, I prefer the look of raw wood over painted wood. Oh, and the smell of wood. aaahh. Home Depot and Lowe’s lumber departments … they smell so good!
  3. Speaking of stores and smells, I really like the smell of shoe stores. I went into Payless Shoe Source the other day and absolutely loved the smell of the store. I breathed it in, literally. I’m not sure if it’s the leather, the rubber soles, the canvas shoes, or a combination of it all? Nevertheless, I thoroughly enjoy it. Side note – I bought Bro some new shoes while there … size 15! Wowza.
  4. My favorite numbers are 2 and 22. But, not 222 or 2,222. Keep it simple. 2 and 22.
  5. I dream of doing a nation wide road trip with Papa after the kids move out. It sounds too stressful to do it with kids in such a small of space for long stretches of time. Yes, after they move out sounds like a lovely time to do an RV/trailer road trip.
  6. I eat peanut butter almost every single day. It’s pretty rare if I go a day without eating it (whether on toast, in a sandwich, or by the spoonful).
  7. I feel fancy when I wear fingernail polish. I don’t wear it often as it always chips or gets messed up on the very first day. But, I do enjoy it while it lasts.
  8. I use a “Happy Planner” for my every day to-do list. It has taken me some time to find my groove with it, but I’ve finally found it and it’s amazing. Super simple. No fluff. No stickers. No fancy colored pens or designs. Just my good ol’ mechanical pencil, some check-off boxes, and my planner. Makes my life so much easier to manage!
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Our foster care journey – part 4

(Below is Part 4 of our foster care journey. Here are the links to Part 1, Part 2, and Part 3, in case you missed them.)

November 2010 – May 2011

Two years after Papa and I cried out to the Lord for forgiveness regarding Papa’s vasectomy, a big shift took place: I became obsessed.

In hopes of the Lord doing a miracle in our bodies, I became fully convinced I was pregnant every month. This obsession consumed me for approximately 2 years. In particular, the hope of conceiving again was never more alive than between November 2010 and May 2011. I looked forward to seeing if I was pregnant every month. I (mentally) manufactured pregnancy symptoms convincing myself I was actually expecting again. I calculated ovulation and watched my cycle closely. Every month, for these 6 months especially, I was obsessed.

The idea of being pregnant never left my mind.

Ever.

I searched online the probability for getting pregnant after a vasectomy. I searched websites to be reminded of the symptoms of pregnancy.  I searched for stories of others’ experiences with getting pregnant after a vasectomy. I searched to know how much time and money it would take to get a vasectomy reversal. I spent many hours online searching and searching and searching for these things.

All of this searching left me hungry and longing for something I couldn’t have.

I didn’t say much to anyone during this time. In scenarios like these, I tend to try and be brave by myself. I don’t like being vulnerable. I don’t enjoy sharing my weaknesses or deep desires. I don’t thrive on drama and I most certainly don’t enjoy when others pity or feel sorry for me. As a result, I often kept (and keep) most heavy or sensitive matters to myself.

Little did anyone know, I was slowly dying inside. Not really truly dying, but my heart was hurting with the intense ache and loss of not being able to be pregnant.

My womb remained empty.

It was a very long, dark, and lonely road during this season.

(Stay tuned for Part 5 …)

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Our foster care journey – part 3

(Below is part 3 of our foster care journey. Here are the links for Part 1 and Part 2, in case you happen to miss them.)

October 2008

October 2008 marks the moment in time when Papa and I realized the magnitude of our decision to have a vasectomy. In May 2006, we had purposefully, by choice, by our choice, without praying or seeking the Lord’s direction … had gone ahead and made a permanent decision. We would not have any more biological children. Sigh.

It is not uncommon for Papa and I to pray for the Lord to show us what home to buy, what to do with our finances, how to handle our work, how to navigate friendships, what to read in His Word, and we pray for safe travels on long trips. However, we made this gigantic and permanent decision without even praying through it. Why didn’t we?! Why? Because we had made it our choice. It was part of our plan for all of these years. We made it so we could no longer welcome little blessings into the world through my womb, by choice.

We wept.

Our regret and grief penetrated to the depths of our hearts and souls. Pain. Agony. Sorrow. We shed many, many tears.

Here is an excerpt from my journal, dated October 18, 2008,

Papa and I are going through some things. We have realized that we jumped ahead and did what we wanted and planned because it was what we thought was best. We went ahead with Papa’s vasectomy a couple years ago and are now regretting that decision. We both do not feel like our family is done.

This morning we layed in bed and confessed this sin of doing our own will and not God’s. It was emotional for me, and very humbling. We confessed our selfishness and not even consulting or asking God what we should do. Then, we expressed our openness and availability to do whatever HE wants us to do. Whether it be to do a reversal, adopt, foster … whatever. We just “feel” like our family isn’t done growing yet.  What that looks like exactly, we don’t know.

This journal entry sums it up very well. This was such a difficult season in our lives. Our hearts were broken as the full reality continued to sink in further and further with each passing day. Unless the Lord did a miraculous work (which is always possible!!!!), Papa and I would never have any more children.

(Stay tuned for Part 4 …)

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Our foster care journey – part 2

(This is part 2 of our foster care journey. If you missed part 1, you can find it HERE.)

May 2006

Knowing how quickly and easily we were able to get pregnant with our 4 children, Papa and I went into what one might call, “panic mode.” We had to do something and do it QUICK or we would have another baby if Papa and I even looked at each other!

Since the plan was always to have 4 children, once we had them, we were “done.” We made the decision for Papa to have a vasectomy in May 2006. This was just over a year from the time our 4th child was born.

We had a lot of major events occur between 2000-2006! During this time, we bought our 1st home, changed communities (including our church community), had 4 kids, had 1 vasectomy … and that’s just the beginning. Definitely a season of change.

After the procedure was done, my emotions were all over the place. There was sadness knowing my season of childbearing was over, but strangely, I also sensed a bit of relief. I had been pregnant or nursing for about 5 years straight, so I welcomed the break from those hormonal roller coasters and bodily changes.

Unfortunately (that’s the understatement of the century!), we realized far too late what we had actually done. I would soon long so deeply for those hormonal and bodily changes to happen again. But, these changes would not come.

(Stay tuned for Part 3 …)

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Our foster care journey – part 1

The Beginning

When Papa and I began dating in 1996, it was very apparent we were going to get married. Because of this, we talked about many of our future plans together: our hopes and dreams, what we want to experience, where we want to live, what our floor plans would be for a dream house, places we want to travel to, and other various fun ideas.

One of these conversations subsequently revolved around children. We loved children. We worked with children. We had hearts for children. Over time, we discussed how many children we wanted to have in our family, as well as when we would like to have them.

Papa is the oldest of 4 children in his family and I am the second of 4 children in mine. It was very natural for us to “plan” to have 4 children of our own as well! After all, that’s what our families had done, so we’d do that, too. Right?! Right. Four children it is. We planned to have our first child about 3 years after we got married so we could enjoy our “alone” time together during those newlywed years. From there, we planned to have a child every 2 years. Yup, that’s “the plan” for us.

Or, so we thought.

Just over a year after we were married, despite many sticky note reminders (literally) all over our 2 bedroom apartment, I missed taking my birth control pills a few times one month. Guess what happened? Yup, we got pregnant. Surprise! In 2000, we had our firstborn son (Bro) a couple of months before our 2 year anniversary. He was born a year or so before we planned, but we instantly fell in love. There was so much love in our hearts that we never even knew was there!

Our hearts grew 1 size that day.

Despite the early start, things were generally going according to our plan.

Eventually, it was that time again to have another baby with our 2 years apart age gap plan. At the beginning of 2002, we were able to get pregnant very quickly! Our schedule was right on track. This baby would be due almost exactly 2 years from the time we had our first. Yay for perfect timing and perfect planning!!

Or, so we thought.

Unfortunately, only 6 weeks into the pregnancy, I had a miscarriage. The doctor said it was a chromosomal imbalance or something? I’m still not exactly sure the cause of the miscarriage. It was a strange feeling to know I was pregnant, but not really feel pregnant (no morning sickness, no movement of the baby, etc.), and lose a baby in the process. We grieved our loss. Papa did have a little harder time, emotionally, than me as he was truly ready and eager to have another baby. But, we worked through our emotions together. I know every miscarriage experience is different for individuals and couples. My heart hurts for the many mothers who have experienced the grief of losing a baby. It is not an easy road, no matter how or when you travel it.

With all of these happenings, our doctor told us to wait a few months before trying to get pregnant again. My body needed time to adjust and heal while our emotions needed to settle a bit, too. We welcomed and accepted that counsel.

Little did we know, those few months of waiting would never come. We were pregnant only 1 month/cycle later. Wow. Though we did not plan to get pregnant immediately after the miscarriage, we were grateful for the quick healing.

Twenty-six months after we had Bro, we delivered a beautiful baby girl (Demo) into the world. A wonderful little miracle who led us in singing and dancing.

Our hearts grew 2 sizes that day.

We enjoyed our “perfect” little family. Papa, Momma, Bro and Demo. By societies standards, we had the “perfect little family!” However, we had always talked about having 4 children, remember?

When our baby girl was just 3 months old, yes THREE months old, we found out we were pregnant again! Wait a minute. What?! Pregnant? AGAIN? So quickly?! Even while nursing Demo? Craziness. This means the gap between our 2nd and 3rd child will be only ONE year, not TWO! Hold on, this is not according to our plan!

Once again, we were stoked. Completely shocked, yes, but incredibly excited! Another baby to love, hold and raise. We were thrilled!

A mere 12 1/2 months after Demo was born, we gave birth to a happy, healthy, made-her-presence-known baby girl (Sparkle).

Our hearts grew 3 sizes that day.

Papa and I were now the proud parents of 3 beautiful children in just 3 short years. Bro was 3 years and 3 months old, Demo was 12 1/2 months old and we had a newborn baby girl, Sparkle. Wow. Not what we had pictured in our heads … but we loved (almost) every crying, laughing, diaper changing, sleepless night, playing, and feeding moment.

Three children in three years … but, we always wanted four children in our family. We’ll wait a bit before having him/her.

Or, so we thought.

Only 16 months after our 3rd child was born, we gave birth to our 2nd son (King) in 2005. We had our 4th baby. Four babies in 4 1/2 years (Bro was 4 yrs 7 mo, Demo was 2 yrs 5 mo, Sparkle was 16 mo and baby boy King was a newborn). Not our original plan, but again … our hearts swelled with immense love for our babies.

In fact, our hearts grew 4 sizes that day.

This is the point in the story where people begin to question our sanity.

“Do you know what causes that?”   Yes.

“Wow, your hands are really full!”  Yes.

“How do you do it?”  One minute at a time.

“Do you sleep?”  No.

“Do you get overwhelmed?”  Yes.

“Will you have any more?”  That’s not the plan!  ?

We now had our even more perfect family. Two boys. Two girls. None of our children were planned by us, but all were planned by God. In fact, the only pregnancy that we had truly planned, ended in a miscarriage. What a very humbling experience.

“The mind of man plans his way, But the LORD directs his steps.”  ~ Proverbs 16:9.

We had planned our way, but the Lord had directed our steps. Praise the Lord for His perfect, though unexpected, timing!

As Psalm 127:3 declares, our four children ARE a blessing from the Lord!

Our hearts were at FULL capacity!

Or, so we thought …

(stay tuned for Part 2 …)

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Fun Fact Friday – February 3, 2017

Here is the latest addition of my Fun Fact Friday series where I share various (and often random) fun facts about myself. Enjoy!

  1. I love taking pictures to capture a moment, not to be artsy or creative. I’m all about the memories.
  2. I enjoy journaling so I can look back and remember where I’ve been.
  3. I naturally have a pretty poor memory, so facts #1 and #2 come in quite handy.
  4. Every Tuesday is “Taco Tuesday” for our family. Tortillas (soft or fried), meat, beans, cheese, onions, lettuce, tomatoes, olives, salsa, sour cream, hot sauce, ranch dressing, avocados (if we have them), rice and tortilla chips. Yum. It never gets old, which is why we have it every Tuesday.
  5. I have love writing utensils. I have a big collection of pencils, pens, sharpies, and such. I usually use my favorites, but I do love a good writing tool. It’s the simple things in life that bring me joy.
  6. The hardest habit I have to break in my typing is double-spacing after ending my sentences. With learning to type on an old-school antique typewriter, we had to double-space after a period to give more visual spacing and distinction between sentences. Apparently, only one space is done these days with the beauty of computers. If you find a double-spacing in my writing, now you’ll know why. Double-spacing is a difficult habit to break!
  7. If I could own any car right now for free, I just might choose a fancy new 12 passenger van. hahaha! It’s true. I am more than happy and content with what we have (a minivan) … I just think it’d be fun to have a huge rig to drive.
  8. Bundling up in a huge fluffy comforter is one of my favorite things to do. Well, unless I’m already too warm and sweaty.
  9. One of my favorite card games to play is Wizard. So fun!!
  10. Our dryer has been broken for a couple of weeks now, but Papa (with a tiny bit of my help) fixed it this week with the new parts, yay! Mount Laundry, here I come!
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No posts on the weekends

As I’ve been writing, brainstorming, studying, planning, and writing some more, I’ve found I get a few blog posts ahead of myself. Apparently, I have A LOT to say, hahaha! I end up having the posts scheduled out several days in advance, instead of writing them the day of their being published.

In doing this, I recognized a pattern was emerging. I didn’t intend to have one, but I began to notice I would subconsciously set aside weekends to be post-free. In pondering why I was doing this, I settled on three primary reasons:

  1. I have a desire to pace myself in this world of blogging. By ignoring two days of the week, I don’t have as many days to fill with my posts. This may change over time, but for now, it’s perfect.
  2. I am learning to set personal boundaries in many areas of my life, including the use of my time (ie. No Facebook for 2017). I am setting blogging boundaries now, before I get carried away.
  3. I hope to encourage individuals and families to have true rest and/or family time over the weekends, with less distractions. I realize people aren’t waiting on pins and needles for my posts, haha, and I also know I don’t control what people choose to or not to do in their free time. That said, I didn’t (and don’t) want to be a distraction or hindrance in any way, shape, or form.

As a result, no posts will be published on Saturdays or Sundays. There’s no need to come looking for anything on those days, as nothing new will be added. Rest assured, my older posts will still be here and plenty of new posts will come during the weekdays. So, go have some fun, relax, and enjoy your time over the weekends, and I will do the same. 🙂

To God be the Glory!

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The Greatness of Mordecai

A few months ago, I was reading through the book of Esther and noticed something quite interesting. Even though this book in the Bible was named after Queen Esther, another person was mentioned so frequently throughout the book, I wondered if it should’ve been named after him, instead. This man’s name was Mordecai.

Mordecai was Esther’s relative. He adopted Esther when she was a young orphan. He was willing, he made himself available, was moved with compassion, felt the responsibility, and he ultimately was willing to love and care for Esther. He raised her as his own daughter (2:7). This alone, is incredible. But, it doesn’t stop there.

Mordecai was great.

He was a man who had an incredible amount of influence, conviction, wisdom, counsel, discernment and courage throughout the entire book. His impact in and through Esther was incredible. In thinking about it, I’m not sure the outcome of the events in the book would’ve been the same, had it not been for his presence in Esther’s life.

  • He counseled Esther to not reveal her nationality and family background when she went into the King’s palace (2:10).
  • He watched over her while she was in the palace, protective of his daughter (2:11).
  • He exposed and thwarted a plot to kill the King (2:19-23).
  • In boldness and with courage, he defied the King’s edict and did not bow down to Haman (3:1-4).
  • His loyalty to his people was easily demonstrated when he tore his clothes when he heard about the King’s edict to destroy the Jews (4:1).
  • He urged Queen Esther to be bold and go before the King in order to save the Jews, which ultimately changed everything (4:8,13-14).
  • He fasted and prayed for Esther as she prepared to go before the King (4:15-17).
  • He was honored before the people for his saving the King (6:10-11).
  • He provided a way (through a new edict) for the Jews to be empowered and saved, without breaking the King’s previous edict (8:3-14 … verse 9 specifically says, “Mordecai’s orders”)
  • He used his power and authority to do good (10:3).

In the final verses in the book of Esther (10:1-3), Esther is surprisingly not mentioned. Though the book is named after her, she is not in the conclusion of the story. But, do you know who is? Yup, you guessed it, Mordecai.

King Xerxes imposed tribute throughout the empire, to its distant shores.  And all his acts of power and might, together with a full account of the greatness of Mordecai, whom the king had promoted, are they not written in the book of the annals of the kings of Media and Persia? Mordecai the Jew was second in rank to King Xerxes, preeminent among the Jews, and held in high esteem by his many fellow Jews, because he worked for the good of his people and spoke up for the welfare of all the Jews.

The Greatness of Mordecai.

Second in rank.

Preeminent among the Jews.

Held in high esteem.

Mordecai “worked for the good of his people and spoke up for the welfare of all the Jews.”

His impact was of great magnitude, even when he was often behind-the-scenes.

Yes, Esther was an important and vital person in an amazing place to do great things, but Mordecai, he was her backbone. You might say he was the key component for the protection and good of the Jews. Had he not been there, would Esther have been so bold? Would she have even been put in this place of power … “for such a time as this?” He emboldened her, he protected her, he spurred her on, he gave her wise counsel, he helped her in her weakness, he exposed darkness in the palace, he spoke life and courage, he was a brilliant leader to her and to his people. And above all, he always sought to honor God.

Many say that “behind every great man, is a great woman.” I might change that slightly to say, “behind every great leader [Esther], is a great counsellor and encourager [Mordecai].”

Are you someone’s Mordecai? Do you support, encourage and give counsel to someone else or to others? Do you make a difference even when standing behind or beside a great leader? Unseen, but ever-present. Never question the significance and impact of your presence. You are vital.

And/Or …

Is someone else your Mordecai? Are you in a place of leadership, but are fully supported, emboldened and encouraged by someone else? Maybe others don’t realize it’s not just you, but you have an incredible support system behind you? Who is your Mordecai? How can you express gratitude to/for that person who is your constant encouragement and help?

I imagine all of us are in both situations at times. Supporting and being supported. Both are important. Both are valuable. Both are needed.

Let us be bold in our leadership and in our encouragement. Our influence on those around us is far greater than we might realize. There is greatness in it.

Embrace it, and make a difference … for such a time as this.

To God be the Glory!